Exactly 6months and a week since my last article, where did I go? Nowhere, I’ve been here living, facing challenges and learning new things, I’ve just not been doing any writing, but I’m glad to announce that the break is over, and i’m excited to be writing again.
Thanks to everyone that peeped in to make sure I had not dropped off the planet, I appreciate your love.😙
Compliments of the saeson by the way, its a new year right? And by God’s grace a great one. ‘My Collage’ has not changed, it is still about seeing the big picture, taking note of how every experience, challenge, mistake, achievement in our lives comes together to form a perfect design that fits into God’s big plan for us and the whole universe.
Now, to my story for the day….
THE BENZ SAGA…
Going home over the festive period was a real eye opener, I was bombarded with gist and more gist of how the world is finding new avenues to exhibit it’s craziness, spreading its tentacles in all spheres. The most recurrent gist though was the “Yahoo, Yahoo” gist (for those not familiar with this terminology, I don’t mean yahoo mail, nahhh….I mean yahoo scam; a form of internet fraud). So yahoo boiz aren’t new to us in these parts, they have been with us for a while, but it appears tactics are changing, in the past it used to be about how ‘sharp‘ and cunning a person could be at taking advantage of unsuspecting victims, but during the holidays I was made to understand that things are now on another level, these guys have gone diabolical! And you know their choice of sacrifice? Ladies underwear!!.
It’s like an upgrade, in the past the juju men preferred body parts for their rituals and charms but it appears they have become more sophisticated, nobody wants the stress of looking for human parts anymore, just get underwear, short and simple, no need to stain your hands with blood. Ladies are now on the look out, ‘protect your underwear at all cost‘ is the mantra, it’s almost a matter of life and death.
I think the idea is that the destiny of the lady is in her underwear so they use that for Juju and the yahoo boy is successful, everybody is happy, except the ladies of course. But come to think of it, what if they steal the underwear of a lady whose destiny was not good in the first place or has already been stolen? bad market abi? Just kidding😆.
So everyone wants to live big, have a nice ride because that’s what the world terms as success and men are going to extreme lengths to make this possible, I heard some ladies even help their male friends get underwear from other ladies, it’s now like contract work, “100k per underwear…”. The most incredible tale I heard was that some guys now go as far as collecting these undies at gun point “your undies or your life!“.
In all this gist flying around I was informed that it’s not even safe to enter taxi’s again or a stranger’s car as some now keep calabash under the car seat, and when the lady seats on it, it would ‘tap’ her destiny. The technology these people are using is just amazing.
Anyway to my own story….
I went out with my baby sister on the 28th of December, all decked up and looking good, with the sun threatening to bake us in seconds (you know how hot the weather has been lately) as we stood waiting for a cab, guess what stopped to give us a lift, BENZ!
Yes o, in case you didn’t get the memo, buying a Benz seems to be the dream of every nigerian youth for 2019, and it’s one of the trademarks of our dear yahoo boiz.
Now yours truly loves Mercedes-Benz naturally, before it became everyone’s dream (copy cats), and yours truly was also tired of the hot sun, so yours truly didn’t think of all the underwear or ‘calabash-under-the-seat‘ gist, I just got into the ride sharp sharp! On entering the vehicle, I realized there were two other men in the car plus the driver and it wasn’t until the car got moving that my brain started to boot and I began to recall all the gist I had heard…my first thought was this ‘ghen ghen you done enter am…’
To be continued… I love you guys and It’s good to be back😉.