I had posts planned out, but today came and I totally forgot it was Friday, totally forgot I was to write today, until some minutes ago when i picked up my device for an entirely different reason and realised, wait a minute, it’s Friday!
ok, shock over. I’m calm enough to write now.
It been a busy, eventful, interesting, and frightening week for me, and it’s not even over yet. But let me share with you what I’ve been learning.
I’m learning to love, learning that it’s not all ‘oohs’ and ‘aahhs’
I knew these things , but now I’m learning them, it’s different.
I was told the opposite of love isn’t hate, its selfishness, so true.
Love doesn’t keep a record of offenses, this is hard,
It doesn’t say you did this same thing a year ago..…
Love gives without asking in return, this is harder
It doesnt say I did it last time, now it’s your turn.…
Love is kind even when ill treated, this is ‘hardest’
It says you hurt me ‘bad’, but I’d still be here for you if you need me…
It is more than feelings.
If it was just feelings,
What happens when you don’t feel like being kind,
the best of us get to feel that way too
What happens when you feel like hurting the one that hurt you?
We run in cycles
What happens when you feel like saying
“to hell with what you think! I’m doing this my way”
What happens? I’d tell you.
It’s what’s been happening in most of our lives.
Because we are led by our feelings, mostly.
I’m so guilty.
I didn’t help him because i didn’t feel like it,
I was uncaring and hurtful because that’s how I felt too
We love those that are ‘deserving’,
we love the ones that love us,
and when they slip up, we take the quickest exit out.
Our ‘love’ is proud,
we see through tinted lenses,
lenses that show only the faults of others, not ours.
And if by any chance we see ours, we make excuses for ourselves,
but remain unwilling to ever excuse the fault of others.
It has to be more than feelings, or it really isn’t. …Love.
But we push ourselves to study for exams even when we are too tired,
we ignore the feeling of fatigue in our bones and get up every morning.
Can we then act in love even when we don’t feel like?
Hard? Yes, impossible? No.
I don’t know how Jesus did it, Loving us when we spat in his face and told Him in clear terms that we didn’t need his love. But He’s is the perfect example of love.
I would learn to love like him, there would be hurts, because sacrifice isn’t easy.
But there’s no better way to live.